i'm not as sad as i'm sure i come across on xanga. there's been a certain young man on my mind alot lately. and it scares me to death. it's hard for me to want to let someone back into that certain place in my heart where, upon leaving, they could possibly ruin me. i guess life is all about risks. and i'm trying to weigh my options. i could know a love that i've never known before. a selfless love that mirrors my own. oh, i think too much. and it keeps me up all night. to the one who stopped my heart, i must return the crush.
"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave." — Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
"The current method of raw food production is largely a response to the growth of the fast food industry since the 1950s. The production of food overall has more drastically changed since that time than the several thousand years prior. Controlled primarily by a handful of multinational corporations, the global food production business - with an emphasis on the business - has as its unwritten goals production of large quantities of food at low direct inputs (most often subsidized) resulting in enormous profits, which in turn results in greater control of the global supply of food sources within these few companies. Health and safety (of the food itself, of the animals produced themselves, of the workers on the assembly lines, and of the consumers actually eating the food) are often overlooked by the companies, and are often overlooked by government in an effort to provide cheap food regardless of these negative consequences. Many of the changes are based on advancements in science and technology, but often have negative side effects. The answer that the companies have come up with is to throw more science at the problems to bandage the issues but not the root causes. The global food supply may be in crisis with lack of biodiversity, but can be changed on the demand side of the equation."
this is from the introduction to the book the alchemist by paulo coelho. i read it last night, curled up in bed with the old boy who is always happy to see me (okay, he's a cat named noah. but still)) i had an extremely awful day yesterday, and the biggest headache i've had in a long time.. so i curled up.. defeated.. couldnt sleep, and grabbed this book. and this is what i read:
Oscar Wilde said: "Each man kills the thing he loves." and it's true. the mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. we look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. we forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. i have known alot of people who, when their personal calling was within their grasp, went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal- when it was only a step away. this is the most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. but if you believe yourself worth of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an insturument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here.
